I forgot to mention that yesterday not only did Rina manage to throw up all over the car when we were an hour away from home. but right before we left (When I was preparing their sippy cups of milk so my back was turned for all of a minute) She coloured all over my back door, side of my fridge, and floor with a green marker! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! She SOOOOOO Got a time out! Thankfully it was a washable marker so it came off easy but DAMN!
Today has been rough. My cousin apparently wants to take the entire family to Disney world in Florida with her inheritance from her fathers death. I have been invited but I think I am turning it down. I would LOVE a free trip to Florida but I would be under the control of my family. they would be able to tell me when and where I could go and I would be housed with them for a week. Not to mention my cousins annoying husband and bratty kids. (well kid. Her eldest is fine but her youngest is AWFUL!) It would mean being trapped with my Stepdad and Mom, my aunt. The whole thought of it triggers me to tears. I sat here tonight sobbing to Halfy about it. the only upside about it is they are taking my Poppa and I would LOVE to spend that time with Poppa but it's just not reason enough to go. It's also something they can hold over my head for the rest of my life which is a power I will not let them have over me. (In other words they would forever feel I owed them because of this.)
It all seems really ludicrous but it's hard explaining my family. I got really pissed at my Mom yesterday because, somehow, we got on the topic of this wall unit in her basement. She was talking about getting rid of it and I told her I would take it if she did. (It's kind of a nice wall unit) and she told me "Well you're cousin K kind of laid claim to it already. But if she decides she doesn't want it you can have it." I LOST it! When my grandparents downsized from a large house to a small apartment I was not able to help them (I was a teen and working fulltime, couldn't get the time off) Everyone in my family raided their house and took everything. My cousin S got a LOAD of stuff and put it in storage (bed, couch table, etc) and stopped paying for the storage locker like a year later without telling anyone (He was living with us at the time) and lost it all. I got NOTHING and he threw away all this stuff. I was FURIOUS with him then. Now I am furious with my Mom. She never thinks of me when giving away furniture or appliances. She has given my cousins fridges/stoves, couches, Tables, cabinets, etc. Anyway I am rambling and ranting.I am just hurt and angry. I am not saying I should be entitled to the crap my parents give away it would be nice if it was offered though.I've even been told that the diningroom set that they brought me from my Grandfathers (When he died last year) is ONLY a loan and they may want it back at some point. I doubt they will ever want it back it's just the principal of it all. The fact that they said that to begin with.
Anyway I started looking up prices of Package deals to Florida and realized it's probably a pipe dream to want to go there ever. I know the kids are too young right now anyway so it's just something I can keep in mind for the future.
Halfy wants me to make sure I tell my doctor all my feeling and such at the end of August when I go. He says maybe she can help me even out my emotions. I told him it'll have to wait until we get on a medical plan through one of our jobs. I Just keep convincing myself things are getting better, because they are, I just really need to find a way to separate myself from my family I find they are some of the main things that trigger my rotten moods. Some days just the thought of talking to them can stir me into a frenzy. So yeah I have to figure out how to stop it all.
I guess I should go to bed. This is going to be a long week! What with it raining all week and being stuck inside with the kids.
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